You see, there is Results Driven-Mark, Fun-Mark, Dad-Mark, Empathy-Mark, even One Beer-Mark.  (My wife says One Beer-Mark is much funnier than Regular Husband-Mark).  Results Driven-Mark has a laser focus on performance and getting tasks done, whereas Dad-Mark’s favorite thing in the world is hugs from his girls. 

These distinctions seem a bit silly until you consider your personal growth over time.  Am I the same man as I was at age 26?  I sure hope not.  “Immature & Single-Mark (AKA D.Bag-Mark)” was incredibly selfish and would never survive 11 years of marriage.  That is who I was then, but not who I am now.  As a follower of Jesus, I know that God working through my faith has a lot to do with this.   “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away, the new has come.”  -2 Corinthians 5:7.  I am very thankful for this truth.

But what about the present?  When I find myself in a conversation and focused only on the task list, I find myself saying, “Sorry, Results Driven-Mark was hyper task focused for a minute.  I forgot to ask how you are doing?  Can we pause for a minute? Because I genuinely want to know.”  Which is something Empathy-Mark would say.  Am I still all these people?  Which one is the real, authentic Mark?  The answer should not be a big surprise.  I am all these people.

Or, to put it another way, all these people put together is what makes me a unique individual. 

This principle is not earth-shattering, but its application absolutely matters.  Here is why. If Results Driven-Mark was the “real” Mark, my worth and value would be determined by my work product.  To the degree in which I produce quality results is to the degree that I matter.  If Fun-Mark was all that mattered, then my self-esteem would be determined by my ability to get a laugh.    But those people are all me.  I get to choose which Mark I feed and let shine, which Mark gets put on a leash, and which Mark is kept in a secure vault with a retina scanner and a 256-character password. What about you?

Reflection and Action:        

• Who are the core “people” in your identity?

  • List them out by name

  • Include the ones that are not pretty (like “D. Bag-Mark”

• Which “people” do you want to feed and let shine?

• Which “people” do you need to be kept on a leash? Or in a secure vault?

• Repeat this affirmation — “I have value, not because of what I do, but because of who I am. I am ________”