I am many people…
…Or should I say? “I am many Marks.”
My good friend Russ Sarratt reminded me of this personality quirk of mine recently. I sometimes describe different aspects of my behavior or personality as if they are distinct entities.
You see, there is Results Driven-Mark, Fun-Mark, Dad-Mark, Empathy-Mark, even One Beer-Mark. (My wife says One Beer-Mark is much funnier than Regular Husband-Mark). Results Driven-Mark has a laser focus on performance and getting tasks done, whereas Dad-Mark’s favorite thing in the world is hugs from his girls.
These distinctions seem a bit silly until you consider your personal growth over time. Am I the same man as I was at age 26? I sure hope not. “Immature & Single-Mark (AKA D.Bag-Mark)” was incredibly selfish and would never survive 11 years of marriage. That is who I was then, but not who I am now. As a follower of Jesus, I know that God working through my faith has a lot to do with this. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, the new has come.” -2 Corinthians 5:7. I am very thankful for this truth.
But what about the present? When I find myself in a conversation and focused only on the task list, I find myself saying, “Sorry, Results Driven-Mark was hyper task focused for a minute. I forgot to ask how you are doing? Can we pause for a minute? Because I genuinely want to know.” Which is something Empathy-Mark would say. Am I still all these people? Which one is the real, authentic Mark? The answer should not be a big surprise. I am all these people.
Or, to put it another way, all these people put together is what makes me a unique individual.
This principle is not earth-shattering, but its application absolutely matters. Here is why. If Results Driven-Mark was the “real” Mark, my worth and value would be determined by my work product. To the degree in which I produce quality results is to the degree that I matter. If Fun-Mark was all that mattered, then my self-esteem would be determined by my ability to get a laugh. But those people are all me. I get to choose which Mark I feed and let shine, which Mark gets put on a leash, and which Mark is kept in a secure vault with a retina scanner and a 256-character password. What about you?
Reflection and Action:
Who are the core “people” in your identity?
List them out by name
Include the ones that are not pretty (like “D. Bag-Mark”
Which “people” do you want to feed and let shine?
Which “people” do you need to be kept on a leash? Or in a secure vault?
Repeat this affirmation — “I have value, not because of what I do, but because of who I am. I am ________”
