The Power of Perception to Transform

Or you could also call this story,

“The moment when my college professor stopped thinking I was really, really dumb.”

I went to undergrad at Penn State Behrend, a four-year branch campus of Penn State University. I was in my final semester and was fearful that I would not graduate because. I struggled in my minor.

I was continually bested by the most challenging class I have ever taken, the final course in MIS (Management of Information Systems).  Both majors and minors had to pass this class to graduate.

In our last meeting of the semester, I remember sitting in the second row of the classroom.  My professor led a “Ask me anything” Q. and A. to prepare for the daunting final exam.  Other students asked complex questions about coding and C++ (I just dated myself a little there…).  At a break in the questions, I built up my courage and tentatively raised my hand.  This is the conversation that followed:

Professor:  “Yes, Mark?”

Mark:  “Um…I’ve been wondering.  We talk about the word ‘Query’ in this class a lot.  What’s a query?” *

Professor:  (Jaw drops and stares at me expressionlessly for a moment.) “Mark a query is a search.  This is a class about advanced database design.  Queries are covered in Intro to MIS and every subsequent class in the major.  How do you not know what this is?” 

Mark:  (Raises shoulders in a placating gesture).  “Uh…thanks.”

Professor (Leans forward and voice starts raising in volume and pace).  “No, seriously.  You need to understand this. 

Mark:  “Ok.”

Professor:  “Don’t you want a high-paying IT job?”

Mark:  “No”

Professor:  (Briefly surprised, and reacts like I’m not taking this conversation seriously). “Ok, you aren’t a MIS major.  Don’t you want a high-paying business job?”

Mark:  (A little quieter). “No.”

Professor: (Starting to get frustrated).  “Ok, what the **** is your major?

Mark:  (Whispers).  “Psychology.”

Professor: (Blinks several times in disbelief).  “Psychology?  What the **** are you doing in this class?”

Mark: (Shrugs shoulders again, but does not speak).

Professor:   “This is the capstone course for MIS students.  There are people in this class who intern at General Electric who failed this class and are taking it a second time.  It is very, very difficult.  When did you realize it was over your head?”

Mark:  (Hesitantly). “Uh…probably the first week.”

Professor:  (Body language and facial expression change almost instantly).  “But you stuck with it…I’m impressed.”

It was the first time she ever looked at me fondly.   It was as if that lazy slacker she saw me as all semester suddenly disintegrated into a heroic underdog in her mind. I wonder if she replayed moments from the semester in her mind.  Like the time I visited her office hours to get help.

Mark: (knocks on the office door).  “Hi, Professor. Can I get some help on my project?”

Professor: “I won’t pre-grade your project.  What specific questions do you have?”

Mark: (stares blankly for a moment, unsure of how to answer).  “Uh…thank you for your time.”

My reality was,  I did not understand enough about the subject matter to know what questions I should ask.  How do I tell my professor I am too confused to ask a specific question? So, I left and imagined she must have thought I lacked intelligence or I was not willing to do the work.  Or maybe she thought I was trying to manipulate her into her doing the project work for me.  Or perhaps she did not think of me at all and went back to focusing on more promising students.  Who knows? Moments like this one helped her craft a narrative of me being a lousy student.

Was my professor a bad educator?  I do not think so.   She prepared students well for the real world and helped many students launch successful IT careers in business.  Did she misinterpret my behaviors and give negative value judgments?  Yes. Instead, should she have recognized me as an overwhelmed student just trying to survive before moving on to something more aligned with my skills? It would have been nice. But that is not all on her.

She didn’t know that I never wanted to be taking IT classes, to begin with.    I only enrolled in the MIS minor because my dad had told me, “You need a real minor with actual skills.  You won’t get a real job with your psychology degree.” Thanks for the confidence, dad.  (#sarcasm).  I felt I needed a backup plan because he was convinced I would fail before I even started.  But it is not her job to know that or change her teaching to accommodate my family drama.

At the end of the day, my professor interpreted the information she had available and told herself a story about my motives.  And I, of course, did the same thing with her. I recall many less than kind words about her with my roommates.  All of that changed when she was curious and listened enough to challenge her narrative.  She realized her perception of me was wrong and incomplete, and her attitude and approach transformed.  And I did the same.  She wasn’t an uncaring professor or a “cold-hearted *****” anymore. She just did not know I needed someone in my corner and more help than her typical student.  So how could I be upset about any failure to act when I did not clarify my needs?

I saw her one more time after that conversation when she reviewed my grades with me.  We sat in her office together, looking at my records on her computer screen.  With a cheerful smirk and a little pride in her voice, she walked me through the specifics.  “C on your first test.  Not bad for a Psych major.  And a C- on your second test.  Not bad for a Psych major….” 

 In the end, I passed with a lot of help from my roommates Dan, Greg, and Matt.  Dan was (and still is) exceptionally brilliant with data and systems, and he helped me muddle through enough to graduate.  But what I remember most was how vividly my professor’s perception transformed from that one conversation.  I hope that others can have a similar experience of new information challenging our assumptions.  Maybe that enemy we have now will one day be a friend. 

Reflection and Action:

• Why are perceptions so hard to change?

• What is a story or narrative you tell about others’ motives that may need to be challenged?

• Tell a friend or colleague about someone in your life who you think of differently than you used to.

• Who in your life needs to hear this message? Share the post with them.

* If you are knowledgeable in IT, MIS, or similar fields, you probably laughed at this question for a while. And yes, I know what it means now. :)